Thursday, 20 July 2017

Just Ask

What is it with the fear of not asking questions?

I've noticed it has become a common phenomenon for people to be anxious, self conscious or even fearful of asking questions. 
And yet to ask is a great show of respect. 

Just Ask! It shows that you are interested in something and that you want to know more.

Just Ask! It shows you may not understand something and instead of blundering in with your assumptions and judgements you wish to be clear, accurate and to seek clarity.

Just Ask! If you have an agreement between you and another that seems to have changed or grown awkward, asking and checking shows that you care about being fair.

Just Ask! If someone is going through something you cannot relate to, no matter how traumatic, asking them about it, WILL help. Ignoring it or making assumptions shows you cannot consider their needs first. 

Sometimes asking a question shows that YOU need a little help.
And whats wrong with that?

How can you expect people to know what you need, if you do not ask?

Remember the days before satnav? When the gender of men were regularly berated and belittled for being either fearful or too stubborn to ask for directions?

Well that fear of asking, that fear of ‘people will see I don’t know’, has spread. And now people cower, when I say, Just Ask!

Coming from a world where I am often over looked, based on peoples assumptions that I am eternally strong and cope with everything life throws at me, I have had to learn to just ask for help, support and company. When life has been too hard for me to continue alone, I Just Ask for help.

Equally I have friends who 'drop of the radar' when times are hard on them. So I have found I have to reach out to them when my 'spider sense' goes off and I just ask them how they are doing, just ask if they need help or a cuppa or for me to pop round  and help clean and tidy their space.

Just Ask! Even when I get a few nerves, I have found every single answer (I kid you not) has led to a helpful conversation at least, but mostly a beautiful bonding or worthwhile learning experience.

Are we all so ignorant in our own assumptions that we think we know it all?

All the time? That’s just ridiculous.

There is always two sides to a story.

There is always another way of doing something.

There is always something we don’t know, something we cant experience, something we cant relate to and cant understand.

The only way to engage with it is to...just ask. 

Just Ask has become a very simple life strategy for me.

It has changed my world at times, especially when I have needed help and have been too low in self belief to think I deserve understanding or help.

It has also had smaller impacts on my life. Smaller but daily impact.

For example it has prevented me from travelling in the wrong direction, causing offence, being in the wrong place at the right time or buying something that nobody wants.

It has helped open doors to beautiful friendships, amazing conversations and creative collaborations.

I could not survive most days if I wasn’t able to just ask and I certainly would not survive my travels through such a diverse and exciting world of people if I didn’t just ask at times. 

Whats the worse thing that can happen? They say no or I don't know?

And that's ok.

Yet the best thing that could happen is that you learn something, you can converse without ignorance.

You can help and be helped.

Just Ask – its simple but it works.

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