Monday, 12 December 2016

The Mean of Monday

Its Monday.
Its not THE last Monday before Christmas when everyone suddenly goes into seasonal delirium and bares their best tinsel teeth smiles. 
It’s just a Monday.  Near Christmas. 
Near enough to see the panic in every parents eyes. Close enough to smell the Christmas cakes getting their final soak of booze. close enough for people to genuinely be wishing for snow. yes close enough for people to start saying to you, ‘last week to go’!

I for one was full of Christmas cheer. Beaming from ear to ear. 
Until I looked at my bank balance. Then I was definitely more on the side of pass me a beer to sooth my Christmas tears. 

The finances don’t have anything to do with Christmas either. As I said in a previous blog, I have been doing this one on a budget and so far it’s been going well.

No. The finances are due to a massive overspend during the months of October and November on such things as birthdays, birthday weekend aways but mostly the house. 
Always the god damned house. It’s never ending. But lets not go there. The whole world is aware our bathroom is fast approaching one year of incompletion  and if you don’t know about that, then you must be one of the only people left on the planet that doesnt. 
So I shall leave it that way. Good for you. 

However it leaves me with an unfinished Christmas list. Gifts unpurchased. An unsettled feeling of imbalance and the threat of possibly having to make things for those left on the list to buy for. 
Out of dead bra’s, pine cones, garden frost and almost definitely glitter. 
And annoyingly this includes the GF. MY GOD is she hard to buy for. On a budget anyway. If money wasn’t an issue it would be gadget central or clothes carousel but money clearly is an issue. 
However, I have a plan.

God bless her beautiful pink fluffy cotton socks but she isn’t the most observant individual. Not around the house anyway. And I don’t mind. It’s cute. Sometimes I enjoy the waiting of when she will notice, all surprised and innocent in her discovery. Others times I am very impatient and point and demand after mere seconds of her walking in the door - “haven’t you noticed that yet????”

But I’m not sure she will actually notice if I recycle something of hers. Maybe? Call it a Christmas experiment! What fun!
I just happened to notice that there are loads of items in her wardrobe she hasn’t worn yet. Perhaps I could wrap them for this year? In fact the skirt I got her for Christmas last year, with sequins and all things slinky and shiney, has not been worn. GASP!
I could, if I felt like it, take this as a sign that she does not like it. I could. 
I could wrap it up again and feign her familiarity for 'connectivity' and state that she must have really really already wanted it, Imagined she had it in fact. Ta-da!

By this kindness I have decided to give away some of my stuff too. After all as Bill Nichols says...

Ha! BUT, as I was looking for the author of this often cited quote I also found this one from David Deida, whoever he is...

So with that in mind, I clearly need to give away some money, a working bathroom or a shopping trolley of Christmas food for five. 
Because that is what I really want. 

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