Sunday, 18 December 2016

Tigger has returned!

Tigger has returned!

Thank goodness because I was starting to feel a bit Eeyore. 

I couldn’t shake off the blues but now I'm back in my bouncy flouncy LED shoes, literally.

The wonderful thing about tiggers
Is tiggers are wonderful things!
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs!
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about tiggers is
I'm the only one
Tiggers are cuddly fellas
Tiggers are awfully sweet
Ev'ryone el-us is jealous
That's why I repeat... and repeat
The wonderful thing about tiggers
Is tiggers are marvelous claps!
They're loaded with vim and vigor
They love to leap in your laps!
They're jumpy, bumpy, clumpy, thumpy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about tiggers is
I'm the only one
I-I-I'm , the only... oof!



Video version courtesy of Dirk Mental 

Imagine waking up to this every morning. 
Kudos the GF for putting up with me. 

Saturday, 17 December 2016

Being ill sucks, being ill now REALLY sucks

I am full of a cold that the GF kindly shared with me.
She is soooo considerate.
So I cannot think about Christmas, shopping or anything with long words like...well shopping.

What I can think about are:

Is this pillow soft enough?
Why must i sneeze six times?
Where is my mum...oh. (then I cry)
What are you doing? Why are you not mopping my brow?
When will that drilling noise stop?
Where is my chicken noodle soup?
What time is it?
Why is it so dark?
Oh! I can find my way out of a blanket!
Why must I stand up?
Why does my head hurt?
When is it bedtime?
Why am i thinking?
When will this end?

Friday, 16 December 2016

Notes on car windows

I watched a middle aged man today, confidently pull into a really large space in front of our campervan. I was approaching from behind on foot having been wandering our neighbourhood for some fresh air and to acknowledge all of the fantastic renovations on the roads, paths and artistic installation. The place is really starting to look nice. A real pleasure to live round here.

Anyway this grown man, who could clearly manoeuvre a car by his deft pull in, proximity to the path and minimum correction moves. This man edged back in his car to place himself IN THE MIDDLE OF A TWO CAR SPACE!

He even got out checked his placement and as he walked away towards town, he absent-mindedly clicked his key fob and the car flashed locked.

Not one to cause a scene I let myself into my house, found a large yellow post it note and wrote on it:

Two spaces, really?

And smugly left it under his front window. I curtain twitched all afternoon, just waiting to see the reaction but alas I missed it.

It may not be very considerate, compassionate or christamassy.
But it made me feel good to stand up for something that day.
No matter how small and utterly insignificant.
To me it was a symbol of sticking to my boundaries and standing up for what I believe.

Even if today the only strength I could muster was to comment on my considerate parking expectations in an undercover way.
I felt it was enough for today.

Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Vulnerability is the new me

Feeling better than yesterday.
How come?
Coz I meditated, thats how come.

I was able to disconnect from the global horrors of the state of this world, put them aside because I cannot fix it all, not all at once, not in real time, not just me. so I am going to only think about the small things I can do in the mean time. The allocated time I may or may not have to attend to world environmental concerns.

Worry wont solve tomorrows problems,
 but it will ruin todays happiness.

During my mediation I sent out unconditional love to the world.
Yes I did. You are most welcome, no worries.
And I gave myself unconditional love for having integrity to my morals and compassion.
Especially self compassion.

Consequently my head is back in the real world, grounded, being heartfelt and meaningful.
I am fully focused on the here and now of today and really enjoying it.
I feel less vulnerable and more supported.

I took time out to relax and unwind. I slept well. I ate well. I nourished my soul with short walks in the frosty biting fresh air, took a hot bath, stoked a roaring fire and enjoyed good company.
Sometimes it is hard.
Putting your self before others can feel alien, wrong, self centred.
But I recognise I have to recover from illness, from exhaustion, but mostly from poor boundaries.
I am worthy of good self care. To be so good to myself I can be larger than life in the love and joy I bring.

I dislike the anxiety of uncertainty but I am learning to embrace it by believing when the moment comes I will dare greatly.
My new understanding about boundaries are helping me to understand and be sure about what I feel is wrong for me and right for me.

This realisation makes me happy. My courage to be me.
And from that place, hopefully help others too.

And therefore today, has been a wonderfully free and liberating day.
Learn to be kind to yourself. Keep doing it.
Be kind, rewind.

Brene Brown say it all much better than I do.
And actually has research findings to back her up!

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

Trying not to remember

Thirteenth of December.

Nothing to report.
no witty festive retort.
The world is still in crisis.
We aint fighting ISIS.
We are fighting each other
Corporate powers want blanket cover
Dissecting profits from our mother
They do not care for not us nor other
They seek to smother, our sisters and brothers
all these events bring on the fear
bring on the tears
dissolve my cheer

People are dying.
From starvation and greed.
Crippled from the inequity, down on our knees
We must rethink this system of need
And share our food, power, resources equally
Water is contaminated.
from land sea and sky
Our basic needs up for sale
to the man with pound signs in his eye
Oil leaking, burning, coating, the black slick slime of our decay
driving companies to harm everywhere, in every way, on every single sacred day.
all these events bring on the fear
bring on the tears
dissolve my cheer

The reefs are dead
toxic fish
oceans full of plastic
floating spoons and disposable dishes
the situation tragic
seismic blasting
illegal fishing
Maming sharks
all for the kitchen
eating creatures
their existence don’t feature
Everything driven to extinction
to enrich humanities taste bud
The humble bumble so at threat
Aint sure if its the point of no return yet
all these events bring on the fear
bring on the tears
dissolve my cheer

The land raped and ruined.
So are our people.
Hate crimes.
disrespected sacred lines.
systemic depression
inter connectivity under global suppression
repeating mistakes, not learning the lesson
On the brink to fuck up our own eco system
all these events bring on the fear
bring on the tears
dissolve my cheer
Particularly distressing at this time of year
All I can hope is we can help change the world next year.

Monday, 12 December 2016

The Mean of Monday

Its Monday.
Its not THE last Monday before Christmas when everyone suddenly goes into seasonal delirium and bares their best tinsel teeth smiles. 
It’s just a Monday.  Near Christmas. 
Near enough to see the panic in every parents eyes. Close enough to smell the Christmas cakes getting their final soak of booze. close enough for people to genuinely be wishing for snow. yes close enough for people to start saying to you, ‘last week to go’!

I for one was full of Christmas cheer. Beaming from ear to ear. 
Until I looked at my bank balance. Then I was definitely more on the side of pass me a beer to sooth my Christmas tears. 

The finances don’t have anything to do with Christmas either. As I said in a previous blog, I have been doing this one on a budget and so far it’s been going well.

No. The finances are due to a massive overspend during the months of October and November on such things as birthdays, birthday weekend aways but mostly the house. 
Always the god damned house. It’s never ending. But lets not go there. The whole world is aware our bathroom is fast approaching one year of incompletion  and if you don’t know about that, then you must be one of the only people left on the planet that doesnt. 
So I shall leave it that way. Good for you. 

However it leaves me with an unfinished Christmas list. Gifts unpurchased. An unsettled feeling of imbalance and the threat of possibly having to make things for those left on the list to buy for. 
Out of dead bra’s, pine cones, garden frost and almost definitely glitter. 
And annoyingly this includes the GF. MY GOD is she hard to buy for. On a budget anyway. If money wasn’t an issue it would be gadget central or clothes carousel but money clearly is an issue. 
However, I have a plan.

God bless her beautiful pink fluffy cotton socks but she isn’t the most observant individual. Not around the house anyway. And I don’t mind. It’s cute. Sometimes I enjoy the waiting of when she will notice, all surprised and innocent in her discovery. Others times I am very impatient and point and demand after mere seconds of her walking in the door - “haven’t you noticed that yet????”

But I’m not sure she will actually notice if I recycle something of hers. Maybe? Call it a Christmas experiment! What fun!
I just happened to notice that there are loads of items in her wardrobe she hasn’t worn yet. Perhaps I could wrap them for this year? In fact the skirt I got her for Christmas last year, with sequins and all things slinky and shiney, has not been worn. GASP!
I could, if I felt like it, take this as a sign that she does not like it. I could. 
I could wrap it up again and feign her familiarity for 'connectivity' and state that she must have really really already wanted it, Imagined she had it in fact. Ta-da!

By this kindness I have decided to give away some of my stuff too. After all as Bill Nichols says...

Ha! BUT, as I was looking for the author of this often cited quote I also found this one from David Deida, whoever he is...

So with that in mind, I clearly need to give away some money, a working bathroom or a shopping trolley of Christmas food for five. 
Because that is what I really want. 

Sunday, 11 December 2016

Count down is progressing

11th December means...
Its just two weeks today until Christmas.
One weekend left before its Christmas Day.
Waahaaaay. I think.

Just going to leave that there with you...

Saturday, 10 December 2016

Speed Shopping Success Ten Fold

Observing the mass hysteria of the shopping frenzie puts me right off Christmas.
Seeing people without a home or lonely at home, puts me off Christmas.
Thinking of the loss we will all feel, of those no longer with us, puts me off Christmas.
Seeing the overpriced deals thrown in your face every day, puts me off Christmas.
Listening to Kylies new Christmas song, puts me right off Christmas.
The inconsiderate parking of the ‘church brigade’ goers in our street, also puts me off Christmas.
But I WILL not submit and be put off Christmas. Not this year.

So on the 10th day of December I carried out my Christmas shopping on a strict time limit.
While up in Glasgow for a day at university, I decided to squeeze it in.
30 minutes at lunchtime and 45 minutes at the end of the day before catching my train home.
I managed to buy gifts for ALL our friends, in a pressurised decision making frenzy.
All for £10 each. Chuffed.
I conclude that on a budget, panic shopping is the way to go.

Friday, 9 December 2016

December the ninth

Number 9!
Behind my minds door today is an old school dance track. Over and over...
I’m sure they were singing about the Number Nine! Your mission today is to find this song, listen to nine others on the way and dance like you have nine new moves to cut. 
Let me know how you get on. 
Happy Christmas to all those fine nine's out there. 
We eights think you are great x

Thursday, 8 December 2016

The great power of eight

It is number eight
It has been great
A fact needed to state
I started the day with a short meditate
The power I cannot under relate
The force of contentment not to under-estimate

I blessed the world
Then I blessed myself
I left all my worries, with the elf on the shelf
I found peace and joy in my heart all day
Gonna start with meditation every day
You would not believe how different I feel today
May the smile on my face never go away
Love to you all on this eighth wondrous day

Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Potting my seventh heaven

Just wondering...
Strange Christmas related blog for me, especially as I don't blog about food...but...

Does anyone else ban roast dinners during the month of December?
I do. Usually.
But I forgot that I meant to test out my nut roast!

Well actually its my wonderful friends vegan nut roast recipe. Last year she made it and it was ruddy delicious. But she is a vegetarian cooking genius. So I have even purchased a back up nut roast which has been languishing in the freezer for three weeks.

So this Sunday is the last roast until Christmas day. 
Cant have our guests eating something that's not tried and tested, especially as they are not vegetarians!

By Christmas I will be desperate for crispy roast vegetables and all the trimmings.

Practice your new stuff people, because practice makes perfect. 
Nut cracking completely potty roasty toasty perfection.

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

The more you spend the richer you become.

So the teeth are officially driving me mad now.

Not being able to speak for long is not something I am getting used to.
But I am looking after myself as best as possible and they are getting slowly better.
Day 10 of being a no smoker should help along with the super treatments the dentist is inflicting on me.

I came to realise that keeping my spirits up, well more importantly being kind and joyful and loving to myself is really important right now.

But that's not what is behind my magical mind advent door today.
Its just part of what is making my hinges squeak...
Today I wish to blog quite simply about the best thing about Christmas.

I don’t mean spending lots of money.
I mean giving love, joy, forgiveness, compassion and kindness generously.
We all have it within our power to give people something of the most precious value.
Something that no money can buy.
Your time. Your consideration.
Your friendship, kindness and love.
Well, maybe you don’t have to go around giving everyone your lurve per see, but you know what I mean.

This Christmas try and make it about spending time, showing compassion, offering forgiveness, being there for someone you lost touch with, showing someone that you care.

You will find that the more you spend, the richer you become.

Monday, 5 December 2016

Remember the best day of December

Remember remember the 5th of December,
For it is Madeleine’s birthday today
Its so unfair surely?
For the dear soul to be poorly
Taking her celebration away.

No tinsel in sight
And thats quite alright
Coz Maddies birthday is sparkly on its own
But shes poorly and weak
Only wants to sleep
Spending her birthday at home

So remember remember the best of December
Is not the big day near the end
Its the day near the beginning
When we all started grinning
Over the birth of the beautiful Madeleine

Happy Birthday Maddie, the best day of December is all yours. LOVE YOU

Sunday, 4 December 2016

The first Sunday of Christmas (the 4th)

So hungover...
If this is the pre run for Christmas then I am out!

I’m choosing to learn from this aftermath reminder that although it ‘tis the season to be merry’, being too merry, for too long may be fun in the short term but the wipe out for the rest of the days I need to recover (in my old age) are a sure sign that I would like to love my liver just a little bit longer.

I feel compelled to enjoy EVERY SINGLE day of my life with the feeling of full health and more importantly full ability to function. Which includes full lung capacity and mental capacity.
After this weekends escapades, my teeth are worse, my head is lost and my stamina is out the window. Although I clearly put the fun in function this weekend, I am now embracing the FEAR.
Lesson well and truly learnt.
And its only the 3rd of December!!!

Saturday, 3 December 2016

Unconditional eternal love on the 3rd day of Christmas

I try my best to focus on the here and now.

Looking back can make you sad and gloomy, looking forward anxious of uncertainty.

Yet the festival season always makes me remember good times of the past.
All those wonderful festive memories.
All the people we wish were here.
And those we love who are, for what ever reason too far out of reach.
They are in my heart and mind.

So today, the third day of Christmas, I dedicate my blog to the spirits gone to other dimensions
and to distant friends and family who I wish I could hug as we make our Christmas plans.
I hope to see and hug as many of you as possible.

If not, please know I think of you all so much at this time of year and wish you were here.

Those of you in the other dimensions, will feel the warmth of my love through my prayers.

May everyone around the world and throughout the universe be blessed with peace.
And unconditional eternal love from me.
For the past, the future and right now.

Friday, 2 December 2016

2nd day of Christmas

Happy Christmas prepping to all my friends and family.

May all you wish for is a smile on your face and love in your hearts. It is all we need.

If you need to shop until you drop, don’t forget to shop responsibly, buy ethical and up-cycle or re-purpose as much as possible.

It ain’t half price if you don’t really need it!

Thursday, 1 December 2016

My Christmas Advent Calender

The first of December
 and all I can think
is why have my teeth gone on the blink?

They throb and they twine
 with great sensitivity

They better be fixed for my Christmas tea!