Thursday, 5 May 2016

Help Trans-form someones life

Hello world, this is my girlfriend Dawn.

She is beautiful, inside and out, kind, caring and considerate.

She really makes me laugh and we do so many wonderful things together!

She is the most impressive girl I have ever met. 
And that’s saying something because I am pretty awesome too.

Where I am a jack of many trades yet the master of none, my girlfriend Dawn is a master(ess) of many! She is an IT design guru, a mechanic, a plumber, an electrician and all round incredible human being. 

She knows more about make-up and nail polish than I ever have and while doing it she can infect you with her beaming smile and giggling laugh.

But Dawn suffers from depression, which recently she has been coping really well with. But more crippling than that, she can suffer from social anxiety and isolation. No matter how much I love her and try to help, I can’t be everything to her. Not without sacrificing my own rights to be in an equal  relationship.

In the past I have slipped into Carer mode, or house mate mode, or social buffer, or protector, reducing my own relationship expectations when she can’t cope with life, let alone cope with a relationship. 

I do this so that I don’t project disappointment or build resentment. It can take a while for us to recover from this imbalance in our relationship but so far we have bounced right back with extra BOING! and have returned to a place of whole hearted love and compassion. However I can’t keep doing that.

So I am asking for your help. If you think Dawn looks like a nice person, (and believe me she is) and would like to be her friend, online or even better, in real life, then please get in touch, or even better than that, if you already know Dawn, keep in touch with her. She needs a support network. She needs friends who care. Especially when I cannot be there.

What she is going through is incredibly difficult, isolating and debilitating. She gets very stuck in her own head and doesn’t ask for help, or support. She needs someone she can let off steam to when life is hard, when strangers are judgemental and if I am being a pain in the arse (I cant help it, my life is annoying fabulous right now so I try not to rub her nose in it.) she needs people who don’t care if she is trans or not. People who don’t care what she looks like unless she looks unhappy. People who will be her back up when she needs to go places that are intimidating. People who can support her, metaphorically hold her hand the same as all girls helped each other when we grew up.

I tell her regularly how fabulous she is. How brave she is being. How hard life is and that it always sucks. But I don’t think she truly believes me. Because I am the person who tells her the positives when she doesn't want to hear them and tries to lead by example with my ‘fuck them all, I am a fighter’ attitude. 

Sometimes I worry that I am too strong, too outgoing and far too energetic. I've had my fair share of tragedy and it has made me the person I am today. Dawn is still dipping her toe into this strange world that we live in after years of feeling like she doesn't fit. Do any of us ever feel like we fit?

I would like my girlfriend to become the leading lady of her own life! 
I want my girlfriend to be confident and happy so bad that I am not coping well with seeing her so regularly intimidated by life, so unmoved by the potential around her and so reluctant to be brave, let alone outstanding in the face of adversity. 
For the world has already taught her it is a cruel, harsh place.

She deserves to feel accomplishment and reward for her efforts so far.
She deserves unconditional love and support.
And I deserve all of those too.

So I ask for your help, your kindness, your compassion.
Show a lovely lady a little love.
Thank you world.

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