Wednesday, 15 February 2017

De-Odour-Rant

The De-odour-rant...

Just something very short and simple I want to share with the world today.

Its about Deodorant.

Oi! Don’t roll your eyes and switch off, stay with me! Bare with...

I’ve always thought it was a bloody con for us more uniquely pheromonically challenged people.

But this short blog is about my friend Sophies incredible Natural products.

http://www.youressentialblends.co.uk/skincare-products/#prettyPhoto

To be clear. I am not employed by her for sales. She hasn’t asked me to write this.

But by fuck I had to. Because...i have had an issue with deodorant ALL MY LIFE.
And her essential blends deodorant has blown me away.

In the past deodorant or even body spray has either made my arm pits stink worse, like festering day long cooked putrid cabbage, or its been utterly pointless. Doesn’t change a thing. I wasn’t that bothered, like I said, at least I wasn’t a totally stinky person.

But I do smell, and naturally, its worse when I’ve been sweating. And believe me, I sweat a lot.
You should see how I look when I exercise, no matter how fit I have been, its always been the same...
I go bright red and facially sweat. Profusely.

So I get offered water, a seat, an ambulance, deodorant...most times I physically exercise and particularly if I push myself. But thank fully as bad as I look, I don’t smell that bad.

My pheromones are obviously designed in intricate ways:

  • to fend off midges (they hate me)
  • to attract fleas (they love me)
  • and to bond well with pheromone reactive types of expensive perfumes (I love this)

Back in the day, I would rub on half a stick of goo and still sweat profusely or stink. Either way it was a waste of money, time and quite frankly, as a youth, hope.

I then found out about all the shit in it and thought, nah way man, scraping a razor across my pit occasionally just so a cheeky lick is enjoyable, is harsh enough on my little under armies. Let alone rubbing in metrofulloxidineairplanefueloleum or aquarelatedenginecleanerpoision of supposed ‘naturally inspired’ origin, whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean.
It was all just too stingy and ultimately useless.

So I waved goodbye to deodorant about the same time I gave up wearing knickers. Or panties as my friend Linzie LOVES to call them. However I went back to wearing PANTIES within two years, after many unplanned embarrassing moments in public involving windy days, doctors emergency injection sites, getting hippie skirts caught in lift doors or inconvenient rippage that at some point bought all my eclectic commando experiences swiftly to an end.

Along with the domestic realisation, it must be noted, that I was washing my clothes more frequently coz I often piss myself laughing (just a little bit) or forgot that what goes up, must come down. At some point. Usually in the middle of a really good dance when you are wearing your tight leather jeans or on the netball court mid ladies district finals match, ala short dribble up the middle line.

ANYWAY,moving on...it was about that time yep, that I gave up on knickers and deodorant. I’ve never used it since, so over 20 years ago now. I have never been told I’m too pungent or felt the need to try it again, apart from when it has been thrust at me by a friend, thinking they are helping, when later they confess to not realising it was going to make me smell like a stewed vegetable broth.

But Sophie’s Essential Blends Skincare products are incredible.
All natural.
All made with incredible insight and knowledge, blessed with love, mixed with skill and just a little bit of angel goodness too.

I use many of her products now. It’s proper care for your skin. Which I seem to care more about now I’m getting on a bit. Once you experience the pure healing loving goodness of an Essential Blend product by Sophie Joseph, you just want to move onto more and more.

And there is absolutely no harmful stuff in it and no animals or humans were harmed in the making of it. Every plant in them is thanked and blessed for their contribution, even by me every time I use them. And I always thank Sophie too. The love in these products is cyclical and herbally rewarding on a whole other level. She is a genius.

But this bloody deodorant that she does, it is unlike anything I have ever used before. It is outstanding. Out of this world crazy magic stuff! Truly.

I keep putting it purposefully through some tests and can proudly say, it beats my body odour every time. It does what it says on the tin baby!!

Well done Sophie. My armpits have been waiting for you all my life!!!!!!

I put it through an especially hard test on Saturday. I woke after an evening pumped with physical activity and many mutual body odours. The smell was fresh, ripe even, yet full of memories. Including my own rather sweaty concoctions. Once I got back to my home town I was off to play a game of squash with a friend. So, once I arrived I rubbed some on, yep, that’s right, without even washing. Get me. Practically preparing for festival life every moment of my days...

I put deodorant on for the first time in years, concluding that at the very least its natural goodness would possibly sooth my well scraped and scratched arm pits.

What I got was a revelation sensation.

A complete body odour free, sweat free sensation for the rest of my day. I even prolonged my post squash shower to be sure it was THAT good. Big sniffs, no odour. A new world order has begun in the world of deodorant. Another new beginning for me. Weird but true!

I am amazed. Sophie it’s all down to you.

If only I had discovered Sophie’s odour eating arm soothing goodness when I was into sports. I might have made more friends rather than sympathetic or concerned observers, keeping an eye on the red girl who looks like she’s gonna die any minute, once she stops racing around at full pelt.

Now though, I might still look like a beetroot when I exercise, but at least I don’t smell like one.

Here is the link again, very special stuff indeed.
Click here for Sophie Josephs Essential blends Skin Care Products

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