Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Remember remember

These delightful ankle boots demonstrate my point precisely.

Its bonfire night.
Remember... remember...the 5th of November.

You are going out with friends to watch the fire burn, crackle and roar.
You have everything wrapped up so you can stare at the skies, ooohing and ahhhing and the occasional over excited FUCKING WOW!!!

Your ears, hands, neck, head and cheeks (if your a balaclava kinda person) are all snugly wrapped up. perhaps in wool, fur or even eccentric silk organza ruffles.
everything is toasty.
EXCEPT YOUR TOES.

They are peeping out of your November boots.
No manner of wooly socks will help.
The wind just howls in around them. (and anyway socks with peep toe shoes / boots is a killable offence)
Your toes are freezing. They cant see a thing. They retreat from the frost, like  a just touched snail into its shell. They curl up and die. They may be able to shuffle up to the fire and burn themselves warm by kicking a loose bit of wood onto the fire. but ultimately. These boots should have toes!!

What is wrong with these people?
Or at the least, if its not the fault of the people who designed these shoes (for all I know they could have made them in a small fabric outlet in Tahiti where it is considerably warmer) then it is the fault of the calender collective.
who puts peep toe shoes in the winter months?
Thats like your page three busty wearing santa nipple tassles at Easter. Or sticking a broom and a pointy black hat on baby Jesus in the manger.
Its all just seasonally wrong.

Conversely these boots are just right. Pretty. Clever. Innovative. Simple.
Just little lengths of shredded silk ruffle bands, making a lovely almost fur effect. Almost. you would need a lot more ruffled fur to keep your peeping toes warm tonight.
remember!

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