Sunday, 14 February 2010

Parental Instincts

Children are the most amazing gift to a human, to a mother, to earth and to life eternity. With a child's life comes great responsibility. They are the most important responsibility anyone will ever have. No question.

A mother will love and fear for her child against all odds. No matter how mature and able to problem solve you are, children can shake your security to the bone. How do you know you are getting it right? Are they safe? Where is the parenting manual? Where indeed...

Although I worked with children, and loved it, from a young age, my skills were partially taught and partially natural nurture instinct. So, where does motherly instinct come from? And at what point do you inherit it? I believe it clicks on at any given moment. I remember mine profoundly...

It was the night of the day I found out I was pregnant. The first night I tried to sleep, comfortable in the knowledge that my GP had confirmed I was carrying a child.
Over the course of that sleepless evening, through a series of thought processes and shifting around of my own plans, looking ahead to a new era, new dreams transpiring and endless lists, suddenly I felt it. ‘CLICK’ All my priorities changed. Everything I ever wanted for myself put on hold for my new focus.

I must protect this child. I must love and protect this child. And that feeling never goes away.

Unfortunately I had three pregnancies that did go away, three sorrowful miscarriages. I got over it. But what never leaves, is your maternal instinct. Your ability to nurture a child, rock a baby to sleep, keep control of a tantrumous toddler, give advice to a teenager. All my compassion and love and organisational skills, just waiting to be plied into parenting.

I don’t believe anyone truly knows what they are doing. Or truly gets everything right. For every child is different, a colossal ingenious make up of hormones and beauty and individuality. So each pathway you chose as a parent is different, to ensure that each child has a world of opportunity laid out for them. How can you ever know what is exactly the right way? ( unless your child is a clone of a child you have had already, which isn’t likely is it?) So parenting is experimental to a certain degree surely? All you can do is pool your resources, be responsible, research your methods and underpin everything with love and moral values.

Or you can wait on the manual!

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