Sunday, 4 October 2009

Rules for Life

I’m up early again. On a Sunday. So I am hoping my small snack, my green tea and a bit of writing will relieve my over active brain so I can climb back into bed beside my super hero sleeper BF and catch some more snugly wuggly time.

As I look out of my window, watching the sun shine on the new house next door, the ravens swooping and swapping branches around their nests, stretching their wings and cawing at each other; as I sit here cradling my cup of green tea with blackcurrant, I am thinking, what can I tell the world today?

I have had a restless night, dreaming about work next week, my mind obviously needing to practice the week in advance and run through the various tasks that lay ahead. For next week is my busy week of the year for pubic engagement work. I have long days to complete, various groups to work with, live radio interviews to air and in the middle of it all, a birthday to enjoy.

But its not that I want to share.

When I look deep down inside myself and contemplate my navel, (a newly learnt saying that cropped up on me three times this week – it means the fluffy stuff inside), I find myself thinking about rules. Why do we live by rules? What do rules mean to different people? And why are they or are they not important?

The issue of rules keeps popping up in our house, why wouldn’t it, we have teenagers? So they often question the rules. But its also a discussion I have with many other parents, teachers, colleagues, and friends. I even hear second or third hand comments about rules thorough our children from my partners ex, the girl’s mother and her partner. Who apparently defy all rules, as it makes you ‘boring’. This I fail to understand as everyone lives by rules. Rules are everywhere, even in nature, it’s how you acknowledge them I guess. It depends if you have commitment to take responsibility, as to which rules you need to live by.

When you type rule(s) into a thesaurus, here are some of the other options you will receive – system, imperative, regulations, set of law, convention, control, lead, manage, reign, run or preside over. And when you think about everyone’s day to day life we all live within these types of constraints. No matter how much of a free spirit we are, we cannot escape that with life, comes a responsibility to live by some rules.

For example,

If you break a set of laws, you will be punished, fined or worse, have your freedom relinquished.

If you go to work, school, college, you get up to a time schedule, perhaps use public transport that runs to a timed schedule, work to a set of regulations (conduct, approach, safety, risk assessment) and then you come home.

If you have children, you must accept the responsibility that they need consistent warmth, regular food & drink, love, and stimulation. You have to manage the way they grow, or they will not. You must lead the way for them to become independent and rounded. It is imperative you make them your priority.

When you take up a hobby, sport, or interest you are required to attend classes at a set time, behave as you are instructed and show a level of control for the regulations that preside over you. Or you risk injury, your safety and potentially the safety of others.

Even tasks as simple as cooking, washing, putting on make up and tying up boots, run to a set of rules. There are certain things you do first, then second and certain ways you need to do these things for the whole process to work.

So rules, are part of our everyday life. They allow us to live in a place where we can be relied upon. Where we can build security and structure for ourselves and our loved ones. Where we can be depended on by employers or family alike, to do a good job, to be there for you, in a time frame given, for the return of a pre agreed amount of return.

Rules enable us to teach our children right from wrong, how to be independent, to learn and keep safe from harm. How to look after themselves and others in a mature and honest manner. Rules enable us to earn money so we can be free spirits, in our own time, part of societies thrills and enjoy life to the maximum when we step outside the constraints of employment.

Yes, some rules are there to be broken, tried and tested as time moves on around them. But when you break one rule, you are simply creating another to live by. There is no escaping, the dreaded rules.

What you can do, is make them so normal, they make sense. Make them flexible so you can bend them for the better good and I guess at the end of the day, if your rules make your life boring, then change them for another set that don’t. If you’re not happy in your life accepting rules, then you cannot reign your own life.

Rule number one. You are the rule.
Rule number two. Children always come first.

That’s how families should live. It’s how we try to live and we have a complex busy and dynamic life. We all achieve something every week. We all laugh and smile every day. We manage conflict. We lead active lives. And we hardly notice the rules. And in my tiny little own world I Reign over Rain.

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